Written By, Sassy Shirtz Co-Owner/Co- Creator, The Sassy MC
There have been times that I’ve found myself waiting for someone to tell me something so I could go on, or get closure. Minus their response, I would be left feeling unsettled, confused, or even very angry. Sound familiar?
The first best thing you can do for yourself in such times is to remove those expectations from the other person. You can’t need someone else to give you permission to move forward with your life. Only YOU can steer your life. That’s why your life was given to you, not to them.
We owe it to ourselves to search for answers within. That’s the one place you’re guaranteed to find the true answers. Having insight from someone else can add to what you already know or feel, not define it. We have to remember, no two people are the same, so even if they provide you with an answer you are still left with your own thoughts and emotions. Also, sometimes the other person really can’t give you an answer because they don’t know themselves.
Personally, I think most of the time we already know all that we need to know about the situation. If we’re healthy in our thoughts and feelings, we are usually able to connect the two. Granted, your reality may not be the same as the other person’s, but it is YOUR reality.
A situation that’s causing you pain may not be painful for the other person. It doesn’t mean they’re mean or don’t care, it just means it’s not registering pain for them. Your desire for closure may be very different from the desires of someone else. They may consider the matter “closed” already.
Rather than spend the energy trying to understand where someone else is, invest in clarifying things for yourself. Work through your “stuff” so you can get whatever lesson from the experience you were destined to receive. This is not an easy task.
Going within yourself is a difficult journey because it requires the courage to face some parts you’ve played in the situation. It also makes you responsible for the outcome. Remember, you have to live with yourself, whether the other person remains a part of your life or not.
We should never forget… everything starts with you and ends with you.