Written By, Sassy Shirtz Co-Owner/Co-Creator, The Sassy MC
Depending on your source, the word “reflection” can be defined in many ways. This 14th century word originates from the Latin word “reflectere” or the act of bending back. The word is also commonly defined as “a thought occurring as a result of meditation”.
Lately, I’ve been exploring both definitions. I’ve been meditating on what I bend back toward others. If what’s received from others is pleasurable this is less difficult, but it can become more challenging when what’s received is perceived negatively. This is when the test begins…
We are powerless over the thoughts and actions of others. We are only in total and complete control of our own. Just because someone acts in an undesirable manner, doesn’t mean you have to “bend back” the same behavior. After all, we really have no idea what’s driving their behavior and more times than not it has absolutely nothing to do with us anyway.
Now, I’m not advocating allowing yourself to be mistreated by others but I am encouraging you to consider your response to their behavior. Just because someone is “cold” toward you, doesn’t mean you have to alter your body temperature. If someone becomes distant, you’re not required to back up too. Consider just standing still instead.
Throughout our lives, we will be confronted with challenging situations. It is at these times that our ability to stay connected to who we are and what we’re about becomes critical. I’ve been using visualization techniques to assist me in staying connected to myself. One technique involves me picturing myself standing in front of a mirror. This serves as a reminder that who and what I see before me is me not the other person, so I am always accountable for my response. The other technique involves picturing myself holding a huge pitcher and “pouring love all over” the situation and/or person. It immediately cleanses the situation.
I would be dishonest if I said I consistently apply these techniques, but having the desire to brings me great joy. Gandhi encouraged us to “be the change you want to see in the world”. I interpret that to mean; the change in all circumstances start and end with me.